Positive discipline is not for nerdy parents, nor does it make us less strict. That was my thought before. Now I'm saved hehehe
Life has been teaching me that almost every time I prejudice, I'm wrong. And a lot. It happened to me when I came to live in Seville. I thought the world was ending. So far from reality. Here I have found the ideal stability to see my children grow up and I never thought I could be so happy. It has happened to me many more times, but the one I want to talk about today is how I discovered Positive Discipline.
When Trianita (the first) was one year old, we began to see that her character was forming quite a bit, but of course, we had no idea how to act.
I asked my sister-in-law (psychologist) to recommend a book to learn how to educate, and she told me to buy How to Educate Firmly and Affectionately.
Two days later I already had the physical book and started reading it. Throughout the first 10 pages he said several times that "you should not punish" and I did not believe in that. In fact, it was very good for me to "send Tri to think". So I left it parked almost 3 years.
When Alvarito was a year and a half old, it was already difficult for me to manage two tantrums at the same time, the fights in the afternoon, the crying... and when I'm sleepy I lose my patience. I have always known that I am not a patient and calm mother. For better and for worse. But I was realizing that I was starting to scream more and more and more.
One of my best friends in Seville, Lucía, has 4 children between 8 and 1 years old. She always gave me great advice where the screaming never appeared.
Two months ago she gave a course to several acquaintances under extreme and desperate request. She lasted 6 hours of positive discipline (she is a trainer of Comprehensive Positive Discipline Center
). My husband also attended. 6 Thursdays, 1h30 every Thursday. The best time investment we have ever made. I promise you.
positive discipline sevilla
Do you know what the basis of Positive Discipline is? The book I told you about before! That's why I tell you that life is for us to be able to change, to adapt, to learn, to listen... I wasn't like that and every time I try to do better. But how difficult it is!
Well, in the course they ask you several questions at the beginning; If you opened the door to your son in 30 years, what would you like to see? Well, the list was the perfect child. But we all know that this is achieved almost from the cradle. How are you going to expect your son to be calm if he sees you screaming every day? Or that he is affectionate if we are not? Or that he reads if we don't read with them?
The first thing I learned was that children are mirrors. If you talk to your child in crocodile mode (tired, screaming, losing patience), he will respond the same way: crocodile. What is there to do? You, who are an adult, you see that you are in "crocodile mode", you have to go for a walk, or put on music and disappear for a couple of minutes to calm down. And from the calm, you recover your reasoning and go back to tell your son what you were going to say. But this time much more calm. (and yes, you have to tell him that you are going away for two minutes to calm down hahaha) IT WORKS INCREDIBLE!!!!
Children are mirrors and reproduce everything they see. But of course... at 8pm you're too tired to control yourself sometimes. Well, Positive Discipline gives you tools to manage those moments, and to create an atmosphere at home based on conversation and dialogue.
I think all parents should take this course from when their children are about 6 months old. Because it teaches you to understand children, it teaches you that if you yell at your child, your child will yell at you, that if you teach them to participate in the solutions to day-to-day problems, they will be personal and professional decisive.
Many of us who went, we shed tears of happiness and sadness.To see how well we can do things and to know that there is always time to improve
With this post, I not only want to encourage everyone to take a good course in Positive Discipline,
but also to tell you that, although I keep yelling and punishing from time to time, I promise you I've cut it down to much more than half. And it didn't cost me anything at all. I promise you. My husband (to whom I am infinitely grateful for running out of the office every Thursday) has come to almost all the workshops so that we both follow the same line and the best thing is that we are both super convinced that it is the right line to follow, continue.